Friday Feeling

Haven't really been up to much this week so not sure I have got enough words to warrant a blog but I'll have a go. Monday (Valentines Day) seems so far away now but I seemed to recall that I started the week off with my usual stint at the gym followed by a shop in Asda. Harriet had the day off work as she was scheduled to meet Jessica in London and accompany her to the hospital for her yearly check up. Afterwards they had planned to go shopping but as neither of them had much money, Harriet decided to stay home. I did suggest that we go to the cinema to watch a movie; at first she said yes but then decided it was too sad to go with her mum to the cinema on Valentine's Day. I didn't think this was a problem but I think she was afraid someone might see her and that would not be good for the street cred.

So I went to the cinema on my own and watched Black Swan. It was a bit of a weird film and not one that captivated me. There was a few scary parts but it didn't really rock my boat. Still, I enjoyed my crisps and my family sized bag of minstrels and was back home in time for Phil finishing work.

On Tuesday I made red berry vodka jellies from a recipe torn out from a magazine. It was in readiness for Sandy coming round for supper the following day but I knew that Phil wouldn't be able to resist having one so I only put in half of the caster sugar, one tablespoon instead of two. Phil tasted it and said it was very bitter; he really wanted to put on some of the half fat cream fraiche that he knew was in the fridge but I wouldn't let him. Funny though, the bitterness didn't put him off and he managed to finish off the whole glass!

I was early to the gym on Wednesday morning which was good because I wanted to do some weight lifting before going into my Body Combat class. The instructor explained that Body Combat is a combination of Kung Fu, Kick Boxing and martial arts. She wasn't wrong and after only a few minutes into the workout, I was struggling. Once again I made a right fool of myself. I've had a go but it isn't for me. I'd made a pact to myself that I would try all the different classes but having tried 3 and being crap at all of them, I wondering whether it is worth carrying on and I'm wondering if I am just too old? 

After lunch on Wednesday I made some tomato soup, this time with only one chilli instead of 2 because I knew that Sandy doesn't do spice. I also cooked simple Goan chicken curry from a recipe that Shirley gave us. It didn't taste quite as nice as hers but the end result was accepable. Sandy came over after her singing lesson and I think she appreciated my efforts. At least I think so, she said the soup was a little spicy but she ate everything I served her, which is always a good sign. Unless of course, she was just being polite.

The new Reebok cycle bike hasn't seen any action this week but with good reason. Last week I went into Roy Pinks Cycle Shop and brought a new seat for the bike. Unfortunately when I got it home Phil couldn't fit it because the fixings weren't compatible. When he took off the seat that came with the bike, he noticed that it was broken. Now, we're not sure whether it was broken when we first fitted it or whether it broke with the weight of Phil's 17 stone, but either way, it was obvious we needed a new seat. I phoned up the supplier and demanded a new seat which was delivered yesterday, which I thought was really good customer service. I also went online and ordered a super size large gel saddle cover, which when it arrives, should make it a little easier on the bottom.

Emma popped in for a cup of tea yesterday morning. Actually, I made her a cup of my special diet Cho Yung tea instead of the Typho. Emma is on a diet in readiness for her holiday in 17 weeks time and I thought my tea may help. She's doing really well and has lost a stone in 5 weeks which isn't bad going. The house next door to Emma has sold and we were curious as to who had brought it. It was only on the market for a few days before the sold sign went up but whoever has brought it, has certainly got themselves a lot of house for a really good price. No doubt we will find out in due course because they are bound to come back for a second viewing and a measure up. Emma, is particularly pleased that the house has sold because she fell out with the next door neighbour after a boundary dispute shortly after moving in. We haven't had any interest in our house recently so I think perhaps it's time for me to get out my paintbrushes for a spruce up. No forget I said that, need to get the units back up on the wall in the garage, that must be top priority.

Lots of friends who follow my blog have been asking me on email how Alan is doing. Well, the answer to that question is,not so bad, as far as I know. Sue phoned me last Monday to say that they were home after being discharged from Willen Hospice last Friday. I already knew that this might be a possibility but I hoped not, because Alan really wanted to stay at Willen and the thought of returning home was making him anxious. He is on a plateau at the moment, getting no worse but no better. The only treatment he is receiving is palliative pain relief which is good as long as it keeps on doing its job. Sue says that they had a reasonable weekend with no dramas and long may that continue. All being well, and by that I mean stable, I am hoping to meet up with Sue sometime next week. It will be good to see her.

My Friday feelings have started early, I have been up since 3.30am, for once woken by my need for a pee rather than Phils.  I went back to bed and tried to go back to sleep but it wasn't happening so I came downstairs, put the underfloor heating on, made a mug of tea and penned this blog.  I'm not quite sure of the reason for my insomnia but perhaps its got something to do with the fact that we are back at the Macmillan unit today to see Dr Camilleri.  Today Phil has to decide which treatment option he's going for.  Its no big deal I guess but some days I wish this cancer cloud would just disappear.

Mint Weekend

Our appointment with the radiotherapy guy on Friday took place at the MacMillan unit near Ward 16 at MK General. First impressions were good, friendly staff and we were seen within 5 minutes of arriving. I had to laugh because Phil had started with his ear drops earlier that morning so he was practically deaf in one ear, a fact which I had to share with the receptionist in case she thought Phil was ignoring her.

We were shown to a consultation room where we were introduced to the registrar and Dr Camilleri the oncology specialist. He seemed okay and had obviously read up on all of Phil's medical notes which is always a good sign. Unfortunately he did get my back up when I mentioned the prostrate cancer diet which he immediately dismissed based on lack of any proven scientific evidence. He said that life was for living and we should enjoy it. I decided to shut up but I was angry because he could see that Phil is a big guy and would benefit from loosing a few stone. The leaflet 'Diet & Prostrate Cancer' issued by the Prostate Cancer Charity states that the westerners have higher rates of prostate cancer than people living in far eastern countries such as China and Japan which researchers think may be be due to the Western diet. Anyway, the fact that Phil's PSA level has dropped and he's shed 12 pounds is proof that diet does make a difference; I rest my case.

Aside from the diet discussion, the rest of our meeting with Dr Carmilleri went well. He obviously knew his stuff and explained the differences between Brachytherapy and Radiotherapy treatments. He talked about side affects and survival statistics. Phil felt comfortable with Dr Camilleri which was the most important thing. We have a week to decide which treatment we're going for and are back on Friday to see Dr Carmilleri to let him know our decision. Obviously the final decision will be down to Phil because after all,it is his prostate, but at this moment in time, I'm thinking we should go for the radiotherapy. The reason for this, is based on the fact that Dr Carmillleri said that the MRI could pick up masses but it couldn't detect little micro cells not contained in the prostate. So if Phil goes for the radiotherapy, the high energy x-rays that zap the prostate gland will also zap the tissues that immediately around it. The surgery option won't do this and neither will the Bracherapy.

Enough of cancer, onto the weekend. It was a last minute idea but on Friday we made the decision to go to Birmingham for the weekend. Phil has been wanting to see the new Bull Ring centre for ages. I'd already been so I wasn't particularly bothered but I saw the forecast was good for Saturday so I got on the net and booked us a hotel. By chance I found the Mint Hotel in Birmingham which was advertising a bargain rate. £69 for a room, breakfast wasn't included but a £20 love-to-shop voucher was thrown in which I thought was a good deal. http://www.minthotel.com/birmingham/birmingham-hotels.htm

 

We had a few jobs at home to sort before we left but we parked in the multi storey and were standing in the hotel reception at 11.45am. Check-in wasn't until 3pm but when I asked the receptionist if we could leave our bag she kindly said we could check in straight away. This was great and we got our keys (and our voucher) and went to check out room 538 right away. Phil fell in love with our room as soon as he stepped inside. And when he spotted the iMac entertainment system, he was over joyed and could barely contain his excitement. Boys and toys hey. The room had everything we could need, it was a bit on the small side and didn't have a bath but it had a large bed and nice modern decor. I didn't think I'd be able to entice Phil out of the hotel but it was approaching lunchtime and the boy was hungry so it wasn't too difficult.

We made our way to the centre via the canal which was only 5 minutes from our hotel. It was a lovely walk with lots of bars and restaurants all the way along to The Mailbox Centre where is where we decided to stop for lunch. We found an Asian restaurant offering a fusion of Thai and Japanese food. http://www.theoriental.uk.com/ We had 2 courses, the food was good but the service was a little on the slow side. That didn't matter though as we weren't in any hurry. Phil wanted to eat at Purnells, the restaurant owned by Michelin starred Birmingham chef, Glynn Purnell but unsurprisingly, when I phoned to book they were fully booked up.

 

After lunch we walked up through The Mailbox Centre, down the main street by Birmingham New Street station and found ourselves right outside the main Bull Ring Centre. The streets were buzzing and the place had a real vibe. We didn't go inside the actual Bull Ring Centre though mainly because I'd been before and also because Phil doesn't do shopping. Phil had a browse in Waterstones and I had look in Lypsy and then we walked back to our hotel along the canal side. We were lucky with the weather, it was a beautiful day, the sun was shining although it did get a little chilly as the day was closing in.

 

We'd brought DVD's and wine and scooby snacks with us so decided to make ourselves comfy and stay in for the evening. This makes us sound like a pair of boring old farts but with Phil on the diet, I didn't want to push it and go out for dinner and besides we had everything we needed in our rooms. It was a pleasant night, wine and movies and only slightly spoilt by the noisy people next door and the fire alarm going off on our floor just after 9pm. Luckily it was a false alarm and we didn't have to evacuate. Amazingly Phil slept through the fire alarm which I suppose just goes to show how chilled out he was.

 

I can thoroughly recommend the Mint Hotel if you need to stay overnight in Birmingham. The location is great, parking isn't a problem and great walks along the canal side especially in the summer months. Only downside is that the restaurant seemed rather expensive. A continental room service breakfast would have cost £28 if you factored in the tray charge which seemed crazy to us. We didn't bother with the hotel breakfast, I sent Phil out to find a café and he came back with fruit for him and a sausage sandwich for me. There was tea and coffee making facilities in the room so we were sorted.

 

We checked out just before midday and drove back to MK in the rain which wasn't much fun. Lunch was turkey byriani and afterwards Phil went over to Northampton to take G out for some driving practice. Her 3^rd driving test is on the 17^th March so she needs to get some practice plus its good for the old KA to get a run. Unfortunately Phil said it was playing up when they got out on the road and they had to go to Halfords to get a replacement gasket. It would be a shame after all the money that we've spent if the KA dies before G gets a chance to drive it.

My Sunday afternoon was spent doing domestics, first up some cooking, pea and mint soup and a potato, spinach and cauliflower curry and rice in readiness for the start of the week. Cooking duties over, I sorted the washing and got on with the ironing. I feel good when the washing and ironing baskets are empty, its a good way to start the week and frees my mind, which at the moment is overflowing with all kinds of worries. Still, aside from coming back to domestics, we had a good weekend and it was just nice to get away and do something different for a change.

Thumbs Up

Negativity is not good for the soul and after all my whining this week, I am glad to be able to end the week on a positive note. Phil went to get the results of his blood tests on Tuesday after work and it was really good news. His PSA level has dropped from 7.5 to 5.2. It's true that I was really hoping that his level had dropped as a direct result of the cancer diet but I wasn't expecting it drop so significantly, so I was really pleased. Of course his level is still high because his cancer is moderately aggressive but without having had treatment and without changing his diet, his PSA levels would most certainly have continued to rise. The results of his blood sugar levels were also encouraging, he's gone from 7.2 down to 6.7. Not a drastic decline and they are still high I know, but nonetheless a drop in the right direction especially with all the fruit that he has been eating which is full of sugar. A very good result indeed and we shall be continuing with this prostrate cancer diet because it obviously making a difference.

 

The diet; I won't lie, is hard work and an awful lot of effort. But I am so thrilled with Phil's blood result tests that I am committed to making it work and improve upon it. Actually this week, I have had it quite it easy with the cooking. Perhaps I am getting used to it or I am getting better but it hasn't seemed too laborious this week. The whole wheat noodles with the chilli sauce did us a couple of days. We had baked potatoes on Tuesday with sugar free beans for me and tuna, sweetcorn, red pepper and home-made mayonnaise for Phil and he quite enjoyed it. Yesterday I did Thai Green curry but substituted the chicken for one breast of Turkey which I grilled instead of frying. For soups, we had vegetable at the beginning of the week and yesterday I made a saucepan of sweetcorn soup which Phil really liked. I am not big on corn, its not my bag but its one of Phil's favourites. Today I have nothing prepared which is most unusual. As a Friday treat we had planned to share a portion of fish and chips with a side of mushy peas but I'm not certain this is going to pan out. I hope so because Phil has been fantasising about this meal all week long.

 

Phil's done so well on the 'cancer' diet but he needs to make more effort in the exercise department. He hasn't been on it once this week, well not since Sunday, he says the saddle is too hard so yours truly went out to Joe Pinks in Newport yesterday and bought a new saddle for twenty quid; I wasn't happy forking out but then I guess its worth it if encourages Phil to exercise during the week. Harriet tried the bike out on Monday evening for a 20 minute session and afterwards said her bum was sore and she felt faint. Perhaps she will use it more when the new saddle is fitted.

 

I had to laugh at Phil when he went to the doctors surgery because he went armed with a long list of things to ask for. Phil has spent the last 10 years avoiding going to see the GP but now he is demanding prescriptions for every single one of his ailments. He came away with a years supply of metformin, statins and ear drops to mention only a few. He was disappointed that the doctor couldn't give him a blood sugar tester; this has to be issued from his diabetes nurse whom he can't get in to see until March at the earliest. I don't know what the issue is but he has got a real bee in his bonnet about getting a tester on the NHS. If it were me, I'd pop into Boots and buy one over the counter and save myself all the stress.

The other good thing that happened yesterday is that the Dishwasher is not broken. When we pulled the unit out, we saw that the fitting to the water pipe was loose. Phil tightened it up, I put the dishwasher cycle on while the unit was still away from the wall and it was absolutely fine, no leaks so problem solved. I don't know why it is these days but when something goes wrong, I always assume the worst. Another example of glass half empty syndrome I guess. We've still got to sort the kitchen units in the garage but that's a big job and a job for the weekend or another time.

 

The hospital called yesterday and they have had a cancellation and asked if Phil could come along to see the radiologist today. He said “yes” and so we're off to the hospital for an 11am appointment. I am a little apprehensive because I don't like the thought of Phil being zapped but hopefully we will ask the right questions that will enable us to make the decision about which treatment is best for Phil. Either that, or we will come away even more confused that we were before we went in.

A week where it's all going wrong

Well the week certainly started off with a bang. When I got up on Monday morning and ventured into the garage to put some washing on, I found a complete mess. During the early hours sometime between going to bed and awakening, the wall mounted kitchen cupboards had fallen off the walls. We use these cupboard to store our stockpiles of food and the entire contents were scattered all over the garage floor. I even found tins behind the washing machine! My first impression was that we'd been burgled but on closer inspection I saw that the fixings had come right out of the wall. The fittings were not strong enough to support the cupboards and over a period of time have obviously come loose and finally given way. One of the units looks fairly smashed up so lets hope Phil can repair and make good and restore my garage to its former glory. Lets hope so.

 

Phil managed to get the shower to work on Sunday afternoon by simply turning on the hot water tap upstairs while I turned on the kitchen taps. He then tried the shower and whoopee it worked. Maybe it was air in the pump, I don't know but thankfully the pump hasn't been making anymore whirring noises since but me feels its only a matter of time before the pump burns out . But so far, so good, especially as we've had Christine staying for a couple of nights and it would have been a little bit awkward not having a working shower. Christine arrived at ours just after 7pm on Monday evening, Phil went to bed early so it gave us a chance to catch up. However, she had an event in London on Tuesday evening so by the time she got back, we were all just about to go to sleep.

We got an invite in the post last week inviting us to Mads 50^th birthday celebrations, a dinner-cum-dance at Robinsons in Newport. The invitation requested that the ladies wear pink and the gents dress to compliment their partners. Basically I do not have a pink dress in my wardrobe so I decided to dye my cream (wedding) dress bright pink. It wasn't an expensive dress, although very sentimental to me, but to be honest I haven't worn it since my big day so if it was a disaster then it wouldn't be the end of my world.

 

I haven't done any dyeing for years and had forgotten what a pa lava it is; actually its come a long way since I first tried my hand at changing the colour of stuff and after all the dipping and stirring it worked and the pink looked very even. The trouble was, I didn't like the vibrant pink as much as the cream. I cut the bows and stuff off with nail scissors (bit of a bodge job) and now its dry but the pattern in the material looks like an old fashioned pub carpet thats been vomited on by someone that's drunk too much red wine. I don't know whether I can convince myself that it looks good enough to get away with but if not I shall have to buy a new dress; Cinderella will be going to the ball!

 

Sue emailed me and then followed up with a telephone call on Monday afternoon. I was pleased to hear from her and happy to hear that Alan had actually managed to get out of Willen for an hour last Thursday. He expressed a wish to go to M&S for a sticky bun and Sue managed to get him in the car and they parked up in a disabled space right outside M&S using their newly acquired disabled sticker. Sue wheeled Alan into the store for his treat but they got back to the car only to discover they'd been issued with a parking ticket. It was the first time they'd used the disabled permit and Sue hadn't realised she'd put it in the wrong way round. Naturally, this didn't make them very happy especially in the circumstances and as Sue told me, later that day they were able to laugh about it. As she said, if you don't laugh you'd cry.

I nearly cried myself on Tuesday afternoon; I'd put on the dishwasher on a normal cycle when I got back from the gym, meant to do it first thing but I clean forgot. Anyway, after Phil went back to work after lunch I noticed some strange brown liquid underneath the dishwasher. I got down on my hands and knees and because our machine is in a raised unit, I could see and feel a pool of water underneath. I then noticed that the mat by the back door felt damp and after mopping up the water underneath the dishwasher unit I lifted the map up and underneath was soaking wet. I promptly slung it out the back garden to dry and then cleaned up the water. Once it was all dry I felt the pipes and they were dry but lying out vertical on the kitchen floor, I could see that the base of the dishwasher was seriously split. My suspicion is that the dishwasher itself is leaking underneath and its a big job to get it out, we know from the last time, when we ended up having to replace the dishwasher the day before we moved out. That's why I am surprised because the dishwasher is not that old. What with the shower pump, the kitchen units and the dishwasher leaking, I feel that this house is falling apart. Bit like me really; lets hope we can sell up and move out before it all comes tumbling down around us.

On Tuesday afternoon I had to wait in for Phil's delivery, a box of tools being delivered any time after 12pm from Tool Box. As my bad luck would have it, Fed Ex didn't turn up until quarter to four but I don't suppose it mattered that much as my afternoon was busy tidying up the debris in the garage and mopping up the water in the kitchen. Both my garage and kitchen tiled floors are so squeaky clean that you could eat your dinner off them. I was knackered and after a late night on Monday evening and all my exertions from cleaning I went to bed at 7pm to read.

 

Oh dear its all moans and groans this week and the week is not yet over. This morning after removing all the bottles of booze from the top off the dishwasher unit and cleaning that and then all the sticky bottles, I went to the gym and tried my very first ever Zumba class. It was, as Emma recently commented, very up-tempo but great fun. I managed to keep up no problem but my technique was way out. Try as I did, I couldn't co-ordinate, bum wiggling, rotating the hips and jumping around the studio and don't even go there on the arm movements. So much for sexy Latin American dancing, when I saw myself in the mirrors I looked like I was doing a modern version of the Funky Chicken dance! I think had I of had several glasses of wine before the class, myZumba technique would have been perfect but that would defeated the object. I won't be doing Zumba dancing again in a hurry; next up for experiment is Body Combat. There must be something out there in the exercise class universe that I can do, surely?

A very unexciting weekend

I had a very efficient start to my day on Friday. After packing off Phil to work, I wrote a blog and managed to get up it up and posted along with some photographs. I don't know why I always like to publish first thing rather than half way through my day, rather boringly, I am a creature of habit. I stopped off at the market to buy a bunch of the red seedless grapes that Phil is so fond of these days and was in my gym kit and just had time to do 30 minutes on the cross trainer before the start of my pilates class at 10.030am. I've been meaning for ages to try out some of the different exercise classes at DW but just don't seem to have got around to it. On Friday morning I did the pilates class. I haven't done a class for years and was a little nervous and positioned myself at the back of the studio.

Unfortunately Michelle, the instructor soon discovered I was a novice and picked on me from start to finish, correcting me on my breathing and movements. I couldn't wait for the hour to be up and eventually when it was finished, I was putting my mat away when Michelle cornered me. She asked what I did to work out and when I told her, she told me I wasn't very flexible. When I told her that I run and do weights she said the weight training would explain why I was so tight (well that's the reason I do it Michelle) and that the running has made me loose my body flexibility. Actually I disagree with her entirely, I want a tight body and I was never 'bendy' as a kid. And as for that thing with hooking a piece of elastic round your feet, what's with that? I won't be doing Pilates again in a hurry; I didn't like it 10 years ago and nothing has changed. However I won't let the pilates class disaster put me off and I intend to try all the classes that DW offer, after all they are free and there must something that I like and am good at. Surely?? This week I am trying 'Zumba' which I think is some kind of African dancing thingamajig.

Nearly 6 weeks after my falls on the ice, I am almost recovered. I can still feel a twinge of sciatica in my bum when I sit for too long but am back to doing 5k runs. I think a lot of the remaining pain is to do with my posture which BTW is crap. Not being able to do much cardio whilst recovering has given me time to focus on weight lifting and I am still keeping this up along with the cardio. The results have paid off and I am pleased with my bingo wings, they are 100% improved, not quite perfect but not that far off. My upper body is more toned and the tops of my thighs don't meet in the middle, something that hasn't happened in years. Now all I have to do is work on my 'core'. I guess I'll always have a 'wine belly' as long as I’m still drinking wine, no rocket science there but I really want to get rid of the rolls of fat that hang over the top of my jeans; I think these are my 'love handles', whatever, they are gross. I'm some high body impact classes will help with these and along with less wine and more sit ups they should improve at least. I have a 50^th party on the 4^th of March and I want to look my best so not much time left.

Phil's weight loss has waned a little, certainly not coming off as fast as it did in the beginning but that's not unusual, the main thing is that he hasn't fallen off the wagon. He quite happily accompanied me to the gym on Saturday morning and had a good workout which included some weights. Although most of the time I saw him on the machines I didn't see much action, he seemed to be sitting, puffing and wiping himself with his sweat towel rather than lifting!

 

After our workout we filled up with petrol at Asda then went to The Mandarin at Shenley Lodge because Phil had spotted in The Citizen that they had a meal deal; 3 courses for only £6.50. We had soups to start (good) and then Phil had the Singapore noodles and I had chicken chow mein for mains. Both very disappointing, no taste and no spices. There was a good selection of main courses so maybe, we just made the wrong choice. I dunno, the service was a bit and miss and I'm don't think we'll be rushing back.

The remainder of Saturday afternoon was spent in front of the telly. It was so grey and miserable outside that we didn't fancy going for a walk plus it was very windy. Phil got the first series of 24 from the library but our bloody DVD player was playing up and after several attempts we gave up in the end. Phil found some episodes of 'Come Dine with Me' to watch whilst he reclined on the sofa next to me and read his books. And that was how we spent the first day of our weekend.

Sunday really was a little more of the same. I went to the health club for a workout but decided against it when I got there and had a swim instead. I think I maybe going overboard on the exercise front and its good to give the muscles some time off to rest and recover. Plus, with all this working out, together with Phil's diet means the weight is pouring off me. This normally wouldn't be a bad thing but I'm now in the 7 stones and still plummeting so I shall have to be careful. Slim is good but scrawny middle aged is not. For once the pool was empty which is unusual for a weekend, normally its full of screaming kids. I think it makes a difference if you get there early, must try and remember that for another time. After my swim and shower, I popped into Asda for papers and a few bits and then went home to start on the Sunday lunch. Phil was upstairs writing his book and Harriet was still in bed so I worked in the kitchen, unaided and undisturbed. Although Phil didn't come with me to the gym, he did do an hour and a half on the exercise bike. If he does this every night after work this week I shall be very pleased with him. Very pleased indeed.

 

Sometimes I don't know why I bother with a Sunday lunch, it takes ages to prepare and cook, then a few mouthfuls and its gone and then you're left with all the clearing up to do. And in our house, its me that's left with the mess. My house mates finish their plates and then bugger off as soon as they can. Still, there were loads of vegetables left over so they will do for my vegetable soup that I am going to make later today, every cloud hey.

Harriet went to get in the shower after lunch yesterday and could only get a trickle to come out. The pump was making funny noises all morning when I put on the kitchen tap and we suspect that the pump has broken. Our whole bathroom needs work and attention, if it was down to me I rip the whole thing out and start again but its not an option because of time and money. But it needs sorting and cannot be ignored, we do need a shower. I never use our shower because I hate it so much so I shower at the health club. However, Harriet and Phil do use it and need to have a shower before going to work. And this is not a good week for the shower to pack up, we have a guest coming to stay.

February is not a good month for me and I feel fairly down in the dumps. Lots of things on my mind at the moment and lots of things that I am very unhappy about; worse still I'm not too sure what I am going to do about them. I am looking forward to March when the clocks spring forward, when the nights will get lighter and I am sure life will look a whole lot nicer.  Maybe.................

A week of worry

In one way or another its been a fairly emotional week; I hadn't realised how anxious I was about Phil's results on Wednesday until after our appointment. It was good news and a tremendous relief to find out that the cancer hadn't spread but even so, I still feel a little bit let down by the NHS. Dr Andrews the oncology surgeon that gave us the all clear couldn't answer Phil's more challenging questions about his prostrate and neither could he answer my questions about radiotherapy treatment and the side affects. We were also disappointed that we didn't get to talk to Angela Finn the specialist nurse that we saw when Phil first got diagnosed. Both of us liked her and in a way it would have been better if she had given us the results of MRI and I think that she would have been far better equipped to answer our many questions than the surgeon.

After our appointment I dropped Phil back at work and then after sending a 'round robin' email to let all our friends and family know Phil's MRI results I met up with Jan at the OU. Whatever the results of Phil's results, I kind of anticipated I might need to release with someone and I was right. Jan had been reading the blog but she has this uncanny knack of reading in-between the lines and somehow knowing what I'm feeling without actually saying it. She was worried that I wasn't eating enough with all the diet food and whisked us off to the pub. And she was right, I would have quite happily guzzled scampi and chips had I of not forced down cauliflower curry and rice just before we met up. Still, she kindly ordered we a large glass of Chardonnay and I was able to get a few worries off my chest and catch up with her news. As they say, a trouble shared is a trouble halved so thanks for that Jan, you're a true pal!

It was funny though, when we first saw Angela the Urology nurse after being diagnosed she said to us “now don't go looking too much at the internet and looking at any American websites because they won't help you”. I thought at the time that was a funny thing to say but now I'm beginning to understand why. The Americans have a terrible diet and have a higher rate of prostrate cancer than the UK BUT the difference is, they have invested money are are further dvanced in the treatment of prostrate cancer. Right now I am researching Cryoablations, cryosurgery and cryotherapy which are all terms for freezing prostrate cancer. I am also looking into TIP, testosterone inactivating pharmaceuticals, all of which are alternatives to either a radical prostatectom and external beam radiotherapy. I know its early days but I have a feeling we will be turning our backs on the UK and its surgery and radiotherapy and heading to the US. Okay, it will cost us but that is not a problem; Phil's health and quality of life is far more important than a few thousand bucks. Hey, we can even get a holiday thrown in with the treatment and that can only be a good thing right? I am being flippant I know, we have loads more research to do before we can decide on the route to follow.

Phil is doing really well on the diet, he is calling it an 'extreme' diet but really its not that bad even though he says he is feeling hungry all the time. I haven't really spent time on looking into desserts so Phil has to make do with half a pot of soya yogurt with some berries. What is worrying me though, is that Phil demanded a PSA test along side his usual monthly sugar levels test and he says when he gets his results back next Tuesday, if his PSA level hasn't dropped then he is going to give up. This is crazy because his weight loss already indicates that the prostrate cancer diet is working, and well, I think two and a bit weeks on the diet is not long enough to shrink his tumour and he needs to give it a bit longer to work. I am no nutritionist but I know that the way we are eating at the moment is healthy and can do nothing but good. What Phil needs to get into his head, that its not just a diet but a new lifetime way of eating. Okay we can ease up a little when the weight has come off with a few treats now and then but we can't go back to the way we use to eat. End of, there is no going back.

I've done fairly okay with the cooking this week; cabbage soup with a kick which wasn't too bad, Dahl curry and rice, which although not a complicated recipe, it was my first experience of soaking and cooking with lentils. Fortunately Phil loves this type of stuff and thought it was really tasty. I'm wasn't so keen though, I'm more of a meat and 2 veggie kinda of girl but I forced it down because I know its really good for me. We've finally finished off the cauliflower curry, which again another hit with Phil. After our hospital appointment on Wednesday, I dropped Phil back at work with some sandwiches because he couldn't come home for lunch as he had to make the time up. Bread is not really allowed on our diet but I made sandwiches with tuna and home made mayonnaise which was another first for me. It wasn't too difficult to make but lots of faffing and mess with the hand held blender and I understand why people buy shop brought.

Yesterday I made another batch of the prostrate tomato soup but as I'm getting more confident with the soup making, I tweaked the recipe and added some chilli which, even if I do say so myself, made it even more delicious. I also had a go at making Brazil nut, tomato and onion bread from scratch. What a palova this was and what a mess I made. In the making I ended up throwing away my dish cloth and putting two tea towels in the wash. The bread looked okay and Phil said it tasted okay but I was temped to throw it in the bin; the poppy seeds covered the kitchen when I went to slice it and it was so much effort to make 2 small loaves that I don't think I will making this again in a hurry. Silly thing is we have a bread maker which I have relegated to the garage so maybe I should this get this out and try slinging in a bread mixture. Maybe.

I noticed on Facebook last week that Vanessa posted her appeal on the just giving website. In August she is doing the Machu Picchu trek in Peru and in 2012 she is going to do the Everest Base Camp challenge. How amazing is that especially from a girl that until fairly recently hated exercise! I have the utmost respect for her and she is doing these treks to raise funds for Willen Hospice. This year is their 30^th anniversary and Vanessa is hoping to raising £2000. I have posted her link to the justgiving website on the blog. Willen Hospice provides a wonderful caring facility and has provided help for all too many of our friends over the years. If you want to donate to this worthy cause here is the link http://www.justgiving.com/Vanessatreksforwillenhospice

The news of the cyclone ripping across Queensland this week has been quite disturbing. Its unsettling to think that we were there this very same time last year. I was worried about Geoff and his family in Townsville and couldn't stop myself sending Geoff an email to see how they were. I picked up an email from him this morning and thank god they are all okay; here is what he said:

"Denise and I and kids moved to Jean and Graham’s' before the cyclone as our suburb (along with 30,000 other people) were advised to evacuate due to a possible storm surge of up to 6m (20 feet). Luckily this didn’t eventuate and our home is fine. Actually, the strong wind lasted from about 5pm on Wednesday till about 1.30 pm Thursday.  Crazy!!!  Really strong winds (90 -100 mph)  lasted from around 8.30 pm Wed to 9am Thursday.  All our friends and family are fine and so are our homes.  We are all really very lucky. I am so glad it was this year and not when you were here last year.  We are still at Jean and Graham's now as they still have power. Our suburb, like lots of others have none.  So we will most likely stay here till power is restored at home".

Argos arrived at quarter to nine yesterday and delivered the Reebok Edge Exercise Bike that I ordered on line last Friday. Earlier in the week I dismantled our dining room table and put it in the garage along with the chairs just to make room for the bike. We've got so much furniture in there at the moment that it is looking like step toe’s yard, oh dear. I deliberated long and hard as to whether it was good idea to loose the table because this is where we entertain guests. Its been so long since we had anyone round for dinner and we owe meals to so many friends. But in the end I figured that Phil is going to be on this cancer diet for some months so entertaining at home is not on the menu. We have decided that we shall have a big BBQ in the summer and get everyone round. Hopefully we shall still be living in this house. The instructions to assemble the bike were basic to say the least. It took me 3 hours to put it together and even then I had to get Phil to tweak some of the screws and bolts. But its done now and ready for action. It will be interesting to see how much use it gets over the coming weeks.

Good News!

Not long back from our appointment with the urology surgeon this morning and so pleased to say that its good news.  The results of the MRI scan were clear so no cancer in the lymph glands or bones or anyone else for that matter.  The cancer is contained in the prostrate which is the best news that we could have hoped for given the amount of cancer cells found in Phil's right prostrate and also that the fact he was graded as a stage 2.  The two options for treatment are either surgery or a 6 week course of radiotherapy and a couple of years of hormone treatment.  There are side affects with both treatments which include incontinence and impotency.  We are not deciding until we see the radiotherapy specialist and obviously the final decision has to be made by Phil.  I am just so relieved that I made him go for a prostrate test on the advice of my sister.  It's a good job it's Phil's beer night because I am certain he will be cracking open a can as soon as he gets back from work and then a few more beers with the Wednesday night boys later on.   Cheers!

Photographs of Steve & Phil in their hey days, courtesy of Steve Buckton.