I just don't know.................

I can’t decide whether buying this 10 year old caravan with no central heating or double glazing was a stroke of genius or completely bonkers.  I really don’t know.  I realise that it’s only been a week since we moved in and that that we are only in the county next door but I feel like I am living on another planet.  I feel like an alien, quite literally.  In the summer when we viewed, this old van was not only the cheapest on site but it seemed the perfect solution to have it as a base while we flipped properties, but now I am not so sure.  I am not in a happy place right now; Phil says he is happy here but he huffs and puffs and moans all day and only chills out at teatime when he puts the gas fire on full, changes into his pyjamas, reclines the sofa, pulls the blanket over him and tunes into Deal or no Deal. 

Unfortunately his mood rubs off on me and one thing I do know if I am to survive the winter, I definitely need to change my mind-set. Rather than focus on the negative, today I am going to try a bit of reverse phycology and share what I like best about living in the caravan.  First up, I like the fact that it’s easy to clean; having deep cleaned in the beginning, day to day is easy, an hour tops and that’s it.  I love the fact that the rubbish bins are only a 1 minute walk from the van, I like to get rid of my rubbish and hated having rubbish bags lying around until rubbish collection day when we lived at no 11.  The added bonus is that we also have a recycling waste centre, that’s a common dump to you and me, right on our door step, literally it’s only a 5 minute drive.   And it’s a big one, I have only it visited once, I struggled to find my way around it the one-way-system but give it time and I soon will.

I love the Overstone lakes, it will be beautiful in the summer and sometime soon we will try a frosty walk around them to get our bearings; once I get back into my fitness regime, it will be nice to put on the trainers and try a run around them.  Running in the fresh air beats the treadmill any day.  The shop on site is good and reasonably priced and it’s a bonus that they have an alcohol licence.  There is also a hairdressers and a coffee shop but I haven’t tried these yet but I am sure it won’t be long before Phil tries out the café.   The Sunday roast at the clubhouse is great, all home cooked and you can get roast lamb, or in fact, any meet of your choice for under 7 quid.  I will be there every Sunday.  If anyone wants to join us then you are most welcome, there is no need to book.

Vicky and Den, our immediate neighbours, or the only neighbours that have talked to us seem really nice; perhaps not drinking buddies but wholesome, reliable people than will help you if you need them to.  I like the fact that we are sited in a cul-de-sac and the fact we live on a road with the posh state-of-the-arc log cabins; this may sound snobby for which I apologise but location does help and at the end of the day it reminds me of the cul-de-sac that I have just said goodbye to although it’s not quite the same and one really can’t compare.  I like the bed that came with the caravan, I especially like the wool mattress protector that I brought, it’s really soft and comfy and I will have one on my bed for the rest of my life, well for as long as I live in the UK anyway.  And that’s about it for the positives.  And now, for the negatives.

I hate the cold in the caravan and the condensation that runs down the windows first thing in the morning no matter how much I heat and ventilate.  I am girl that likes to be kept warm and I worry how we will fare when the winter really kicks in, which is hasn’t at the moment, indeed we haven’t even experienced a hard frost, let alone snow.  I hate the fact that I feel like I am living in a gold fish bowl and feel the need to shut my blinds even in the daytime.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I am doing anything naughty (too tired and cold for that) but I just feel exposed and I don’t like it.  When I run hot the hot water first thing in the morning, it takes an age to get hot (boy do I miss my dishwasher), it takes at least 5 minutes and now I resort to boiling a kettle.  I also miss the space of our 3 bed detached, it feels like everywhere I go in the caravan and believe me there are not a lot of places to go but it seems Phil always wants to be in the same space as me at the same time and we are forever tripping over each other.  Most of all I feel isolated from my friends who seem so far away.  They are not on my doorstep and from now on in and forever more, everything will need to be planned and nothing can happen spontaneously.  I like spontaneity and I grieve it even after only one week.  Phil is cross with me and my need to trip back to Milton Keynes almost every day but I can’t help myself.  It’s where I am familiar.  I don’t know anywhere in Northampton.  And Wellingborough which is nearby is a dump.

If I cared to do a word count (which I won’t because even I am not that sad) I wonder whether my positives will outweigh my negatives and actually, at a glance, I think they may, which is a good thing right?  I need to give it more time, I need Phil to sort the caravan out because I am a typical Cancer and I think that if my living space is right, then the rest will follow.  Fingers crossed anyway.

As usual, it’s been a busy week and we haven’t been idle. No change there then, but actually it hasn’t been all work and no play but more about that later. We were up really quite early on Monday morning and by 8am we had breakfast and had loaded up the car with the tumble dryer ready to take to over to Sue’ house.  It made sense really; she needed to buy a one because tenant nicked hers and we already have a washer-dryer so by giving the dryer to Sue, it gives us space to find a home for all of our tools which are taking up of half of Sue’s garage.  That’s what friends are for and not only does it solve a problem but it helps each of us out.

When we got to No 2, we unloaded the tumble dryer which was easy and then Phil put up 2 blinds for Sue in the upstairs.  Phil was keen to use Sue’s new blind cutter but it wasn’t straight forward fitting the blinds because he had to drill into the lintels.  But he managed it as he always does.  While I was waiting, I painted a white coat of emulsion in Sue’s lounge; I folded away the dust sheets and put away the ladder but unfortunately Sue needed to do a 4^th coat.

After we finished at Sue’s, we loaded the exercise bike in the Land Rover and drove over to meet Harriet at her dad’s house.  The idea was that we could free up some of the space in Sue’s garage because we are feeling somewhat guilty at abusing her garage space even though she said it was no problem.  We also thought that Harriet could use the bike but that plan backfired because Chris said that he didn’t want the bike in the bedroom so it had to be housed in the garage and there is no way that HH will use it the garage with all the spiders.

Before we left MK, we went over to Westcroft  to feed the fish and Norman the guinea pig who is always pleased to see Phil.  Then it was a quick trip to Morrison’s for some supplies and then back to Northamptonshire.  Before going back to the van we turned off at Billing to see if we could find the postal address shop that next door told us about. At the moment we have all of our post being redirected to Harriet’s flat but obviously this isn’t ideal. Neither Phil nor I could remember Vicky & Den’s directions, which were a little vague but we did recall that it was near a garden centre close to Billing Aquadrome.  We had a few turnarounds but eventually we parked up in the garden centre car park where we found a really surprising medley of different shops.  It was a real surprise and a most welcome one.  There was a barber, fishmongers, a butchers, all kinds of shops and most different to what you would find in Central Milton Keynes.  Unfortunately, we were tired, unwashed, and hungry and not in the mood to explore, our main aim was to source the postal address place.   We looked and we looked and almost gave up but we found the postal place in a sweet shop called The Manor.   It was a godsend, a real find; one hundred quid for a ‘proper’ postal address and an old school sweet shop with free internet access; Phil, bless him, was in his element.  We signed up for a hundred quid for a year but didn’t explore the shops, deciding to save this for another time.  We were knackered and hungry so we stopped off at Overstone Manor for a meal.   For the first time, we vetoed the soggy carvery and went for the 2-4-1 menu and very nice it was too.  I had the steak and Phil the gammon; it was good for pub grub.

On Tuesday, I got up at 5am and painted the bathroom; it wasn’t bad but I hate the mottled effect and the smell of smoke so it had to go. In the end, it took 4 coats and lots of touching up.  We did a few jobs in the van and then headed to Phil’s mum and dads for lunch.  I hadn’t seen them since before we went away on holiday but Phil’s dad hasn’t been well so we were overdue a visit.  Normally we head down the M1 from J14 to J21a but on Tuesday we went via Kettering, Corby and Oakham.  It was about 30 miles less but it took us about the same time.

We arrived at mum and dads only to find Phil’s mum on the doorstep in a total state of panic, breathless and almost unable to speak.  When she’d calmed down a bit, we ascertained that  earlier in the morning they’d had a call from the estate agent with an offer on their house of £210k which they’d accepted.  Initially they went on the market for £236k so they’ve had to drop quite substantially.  Not having moved house for 45 years, naturally they are very worried about the move and all the things that this will involve.  We will help them all we can and Phil has promised we will go down every week to do jobs but something tells me that their move is not going to be easy and will make our recent move seem like a walk in the park.  I do wonder whether Phil’s and dad will survive such a major move but let’s hope so.  They’re moving to a 2 bed bungalow just around the corner and once in, their lives will be much, much easier.  

Phil’s dad hasn’t been well for the last 5 weeks.  He’s been to the doctors and had blood tests, chest x-rays, and various other tests which have revealed water on the lung and some kind of kidney infection.  This has left him breathless, weak and unable to do anything. I was shocked when I saw how ill he looked and am quite worried about him.  His doctor is treating him with water tablets but it’s obvious to me that he should be admitted to hospital.  And Phil’s mum isn’t really doing any better, she nearly fell over 3 times when she was in the kitchen doing dinner.   Phil’s parents have never been demanding or asked anything of us before now but I feel that this winter they will need our help more than ever before. 

When we got back to the caravan we were remarked on how warm it was when we walked in and they Phil realised that the gas fire had been left on all day. Whoops. On Wednesday morning I painted the dressing room and the insides of all the cupboards which was a little tedious but it had to be done.  I left Phil putting up new blinds and then went off to MK to see Sue.  I am tending to go to MK on the motorway rather than the back roads and I try to get off at the services at Newport.  I have been lucky the last few times but it will be sods law when I’m short of time that the barrier will be down. I wish I knew someone that knew the barrier code.

I spent a few hours with Sue on Wednesday, she steam cleaned her conservatory floor and then we went shopping.  First stop was Christine’s house in Downs Barn to pick up post and papers and then it was off to Wickes to pick up some double glazing film. I’d read an article in The Times saying that it was a good to keep him heat so I’d thought I’d give it a go.  We did a few more stores, Dreams, Homebase, Harveys, Lidl’s and ended up at the city centre.  I needed to go into Bank of Scotland to pay off my credit card.  I’d tried to do this on the phone with no joy, I’d tried on line, again no joy and was eventually advised to go into a branch.  I queued up in the long lunchtime queue only to be told that they couldn’t take payment with my bank card.  I was quite verbal before walking out and ended up getting HSBC to pay them.  Sue and I had just enough time to eat a baked potato in BHS before driving back to Newport to meet Phil who was already waiting outside on Sue’s drive when we turned up.  We unloaded the shopping and did a few jobs and then we went off to Caldecotte to abuse Sue’s broadband connection while Sue went to visit her dad.

As it was Wednesday, Phil’s night out with the boys and we needed somewhere to stay.  We were very lucky because we had a choice of beds.  Jan & Steve very kindly said we could stay at their house any time whilst they were in Oz and Sue gave us a choice of a bed in Newport or Caldecotte.  In the end we decided on Caldecotte because we needed the internet and also didn’t want to dirty Steve & Jan’s spare bed for only one night.  I dropped Phil off at the pub and arrived back at Caldecotte just as Sue pulled up.  We nibbled on cheese and biscuits and drank red wine and put the world to rights.  We were surprised to see Phil pull up in a taxi at 10.30pm as this was early for a Wednesday night.  Of course it wasn’t early to bed and next morning we were all a little dosey.

We had tea and toast and did some internet and left Sue’s just after 9am and went to DW for a steam and a shower.  We went to feed the animals which was followed by the usual visit to Morrison’s and over to Newport to pick up Phil’s car which he’d left at Sue’s house.  I wondered where the morning had gone as it was almost midday by the time we got back to the van.  After unpacking, Phil said we’d go to The Swan in Holdout for lunch. I’d rather have had lunch at home but there was nothing decent to eat in the fridge.  It’s funny, we agreed when we moved in that Phil would take over the shopping and the cooking but aside from breakfast, we haven’t eaten one single home cooked meal.  In fact we have eaten out every day for the last 2 weeks.  I didn’t cook at home for our last week because I didn’t want to get my oven dirty after cleaning it.

We wanted to go to The White Swan because it was owned, or managed, not sure which, by the same people that have The Griffin’s head in Mears Ashby.  The menu was very similar but we were disappointed with the pub, which inside was old, grubby and tired plus it was almost empty. There was no atmosphere whatsoever; we had lamb chops with mash in thick gravy but the mash had been reheated and I was surprised that I had to ask for mint sauce which surely should have come with it?  I am sorry White Swan, we won’t be coming back.

Phil is slowly getting through the caravan jobs.  He put up the bathroom blind and a new white venetian blind in the bedroom.   He has now lagged all the pipes underneath the caravan and has managed to get an electric socket outside so soon we will be able to use the washing machine.  He just needs to get some extra-long hoses and plumb it in and then we must put some insulation material and our last job will be to try and fit the skirt back on. And then we should be all ready for winter.  Well, as ready as we’ll ever be.

I am now on page 5 of my word document blog draft and I think it’s time to stop writing.  I seemed to have gone on and on and on and this posting is turning out more like an essay.  I can’t help it, sharing all my thoughts and feeling online, is my therapy and after all, there’s been a lot happening to me this month and hence a lot to talk about.  Already I feel much better for getting it all off my chest.  Still no internet at the van, that won’t be up until next Tuesday at the earliest so although blog was written in bed at the caravan first thing, have published using Sue’s broadband.