Phil was so excited about his new freedom when leaving work it was almost funny but I had to laugh to myself because he’s probably worked twice as hard since he left his contract. Poor sod, he’s not had a minute to himself. I knew there wasn’t much I could do to help on Monday but I did turn up at the CF to show willing, only to find that he’d decided to change all of the electrics in the kitchen. Now Phil can do electrics, but his sausage fingers don’t make it easy and he struggles. I hung around for an hour or so but no coffee to make because the electric supply was off and it was obvious that Phil had many channels to chisel out which meant that the electric supply would be off for a while, so I sneaked off to the gym. I had a reasonable workout but I did feel guilty, which is silly when I have been working pretty much non-stop since the 19th of May.
I did fleetingly think about going to see Phil after DW but decided against and instead, because I was so close to Caldecotte, decided to drop in on Sue. I vaguely remembered her saying that she had a free day on Monday and whilst I don’t normally make a habit of dropping in on friends unannounced, I thought if her car was outside then I would ring the buzzer and see if she fancied a walk around the lake. Luckily as it happened, she was home, she made me a cup of coffee and as it was such a lovely day was up for a stroll around the lake. I do so like doing things that are impromptu, as it makes it all the more fun. I kind of wasted my free time on Sunday and wanted to make the most of the sunshine.
Unfortunately I had forgotten how long the walk was around Caldecotte Lake; Phil and I had done it many years ago but boy it was a long way round and took us nearly 1 hour and 40 minutes. I didn’t have the hindsight (do I ever?) to think of taking water or even money for the Windmill pub, which was probably a good thing because once Sue & I start, we keep going. But keep going we did, and we made it all the way round and back to Sue’s flat for a much needed glass of water, we were bloody parched I can tell you. I said to Sue that I can’t remember how much I’ve enjoyed a glass of chilled water above wine in ages! We said our goodbyes and I had just enough time to get home and changed ready to go to the hospital for Phil’s blasting.
Poor Phil is working himself to the bone even though there is no need. He has friends that would help him; Steve B would help him willingly but no, he wants to do it all by himself. He was awake at half three on Tuesday morning and working at the CF flat by 6.30am. He is a man on a mission. Phil worked until 1’ish then took himself to DW for a gym workout. Silly sod, he was all worn out when he got back at 3pm and ready to drop, but of course, we had to go to Northampton General (NG from now on) for zapping. Needless to say, he was in bed by 7pm, absolutely knackered. We are now part of a little prostate club at the Luke Radiotherapy Unit; I talk to everyone and now know all their personal health stories. In a way, it’s a little sad, but we all laugh at the inconvenience and moan about the parking. Better laugh than cry I say, but all the prostate cancer sufferers are really brave and strong. Maybe all bar Phil. We met one chap and his wife on Tuesday who said he’d not suffered any side effects and he is halfway through into week 6 but on Wednesday night whilst talking to him and questioning him (as only I can do) he joked that he couldn’t go away for a long weekend or undergo early morning radiotherapy because he has to spend 3 hours on the loo before he can go anywhere. He is so obviously hiding his difficulties about his treatment but his wife did comment on the lack of sex. This guy and I’m sorry I don’t know his name yet, is very open about everything, but when his wife mentioned sex he went very quiet. I can understand where she is coming from, 100% It’s interesting that these prostate sufferers can talk all day long about the flow of their pee, their bowel movements, hormones and hot flushes BUT what they don’t ever discuss is ED (to you and me that is short for erectile dis-function) and the ‘S’ word. Sex is never discussed, it’s a ‘no-no’ – a taboo. Don’t even go there! None of them discuss it; is it the great British reserve I wonder or the fact that it is not, in the scheme of things, high priority? I think a bit of both. Okay, its crap for the guys that their man-hood is taken away, or shrunken and possibly never restored, but what about the wives, partners and the girlfriends??? We suffer too.
Actually, this is not a rant or a raving and nothing personal, but it’s generally an observation about prostate cancer and cancer in general. It’s terrible enough to see the one you love suffer, or be in pain, endure cancer treatments that you know will make them suffer even further or perhaps even die, but I also think the partner of the cancer patient suffers too. Maybe not in the physical sense, but certainly emotionally; we have to appear to be strong and positive when maybe we don’t feel it; we have to smile and can’t admit when we’re scared. Cancer is an all round real-roller-coaster-ride. Some highs, many lows, you hope for the best of course, but mostly you are scared of the unknown. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. And of course, there are good cancers of which prostate is one of them and there are the worst cancers but mostly they are the same whatever the Gleeson score or the PSA or whatever the outcome of the CAT Scan or the MRI; at the end of the day you hope for the best; if you are diagnosed early you’re in with a good chance but at the end of the day it all depends on the surgeon, or is that the radiologist, or oncologist or simply your registrar nurse? Or your postcode even. Phil is doing okay on the treatment so far and isn’t feeling any side effects from the radiotherapy. Yesterday he had his first review and they confirmed that he is doing well. So far, so good and long may it continue.
A little girl that has so much to say but that’s what happens when you don’t blog mid-week. Phil says its for the best, but I don’t know, there is always so much to catch up on from Monday to Friday. I have to say that this week, I have felt quite redundant since he finished work. I almost feel like I have been sacked; Phil has taken over as project manager and I feel like I am surplice to requirements. I didn’t go to the CF at all on Tuesday but I did go with him on Wednesday. We went to IKEA as soon as it opened to buy the 6.2 wide worktops and what a bargain they turned out to be. Solid oak was what Phil really wanted and me too if I am honest, but the budget didn’t allow. IKEA don’t offer a cutting service like B&Q but the range is great and the price is even better. It wasn’t a big deal to get them in the Land Rover and up to the first floor flat and we cut them to length ourselves. It wouldn’t have been so easy if we’d had to get non-standard worktops, so I suppose me, and my back, got off lightly. The appliance man from Fishermead Domestics came and condemned the fridge/freezer so our last job of the day was to visit Curry’s where we ordered a Zanussi washing machine and Hoover fridge/freezer.
Yesterday, Phil went to the flat early whilst I stayed at home to catch up with some jobs. I prepared a liver, bacon, kidney, carrot and onion casserole and threw this into the slow cooker and then went over to join Phil at the CF. I helped tidy up, held the work tops whilst he cut out the hob and the sink. Not much of a help really; but I also sorted the rubbish and hovered up and made a coffee. Phil has done great this week and we have finally turned the corner in the flat. Things are beginning to look better rather than worse.
We will be back there today and tomorrow and Sunday but I am pleased to say only half days. Besides it’s a GP weekend and we plan to take it easy. Things are finally coming together. Prestige has found a tenant for the OB flat and he moves in hopefully next week. We should finish all the jobs in the CF by the end of next week and should be at the stage where we can move in the furniture. And when that’s all done, we are probably going to rip out our bath-shower unit. Phil thinks we can take it all apart and clean it up and fix the bits that have fallen off but I think we will end up replacing it for a regular bath and shower. We’ll see. But before that project, first of all, we’re going on a mini holiday. We’ve managed to move Phil’s radiotherapy session to the morning, and next Friday, a week today, we fly to Majorca for a long weekend. Phil found an all-inclusive deal on the net and booked it. By then he will be almost halfway through his treatment. I wasn’t too bothered about going away because we’re paying almost as much for 3 days and nights than we would for a week but I think Phil really needs some R&R in the sun. And of course, I can’t let him go away by himself can I? We’ve hired a car which cost less than the cost of a transfer and Sue said she take us to the airport, so we’re sorted. Calle Antenna next week, here we come!!
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