Random Ramblings..........

I hope my egg photograph didn't offend anyone; Phil said it looked like a boobie with a nipple but that is just plain weird. For me, the egg photo with the single tear drop represented a cancer cell and a single tear for sadness and pain.

For obvious reasons, cancer is mucho on my mind at the moment. I read 2 really good Prostrate books on holiday and one of which, I have made, well more persuaded Phil to read when we got home. The moment wasn't right on holiday and I didn't want to spoil our time together but I think Phil has done the right thing by getting himself geared up. After all, information is power and I truly believe that in these current economic times, especially if you are under the NHS then you have to fight for your life because the doctor doesn't always know best.

My research and readings in trying to find out more about treating PC has been a little confusing and slightly alarming, so much medical jargon to take in and lots of conflicting information. What I have learnt is that doctors both in the UK and the USA treat prostrate cancer is an over zealous and aggressive way and over 75% of surgery is not necessary. Thankfully in the basic readings that Phil has done, he agrees with my train of thought. Of course, he has much more catching up with reading to do than me, but for now, we both believe the way forward is by first reducing his PSA levels, thereby helping his diabetes, addressing his weight problem, also his high cholesterol and ultimately reducing the cancel cells in his prostrate by diet first alone. Of course this all depends on the results of the MRI scan but if its contained that we think we will try the diet and then see what the PSA levels are.

Just want to publicly say to Jill (& Tony) first up for their very kind offer of a week in their villa in Kalkan (Turkey) free of charge. I mentioned this to Phil over lunch and his blue eyes lit up! I am not sure whether or not we will be able to them up on this but it was a lovely thought. Also want to thanks to Jill for answering all my emails and for also speaking to the Imaging Consultant at the private hospital where she works regarding Phil. I've been in a bit of a tizz since his MRI as the radiographer said a couple of things there were causing me some concern. Jill's email reply after she spoke to the consultant was very helpful and has lifted a weight of worry from my mind. Thanks Jill, u r a star!

I always thought our diet was fairly healthy but I now I wonder. According to the prostrate cancer books that I've read, red meat should be avoided, as well as all dairy products at all costs. Dairy products are the worst apparently and cheese should be classed as 'junk' food. Our new diet is no red meat, veggies, soya beans, nothing human made or artificial, no dairy, bar soya milk and where possible, organic. It all sounds expensive and very boring but it will be interesting to see if Phil's PSA levels come down after a couple of weeks of the diet. That's if we can stick it of course. I am already bored of cooking weird stuff. This week I have done stir fries (not too bad), tomato soup (very tasty) and a shepherds pie made with vegetarian mince and soya beans (DISGUSTING).

I promise not to turn the naked bloggers in a 'cancer' journey (god hate that phrase) because that would be very boring, but that said, I'm sure they'll be some references to it over the next few months. But, changing the subject, lets go back to me and my week. I had a very pleasant cup of tea-cum catchup with Emma on Monday and it was kinda weird because she was on my 'to do' list to phone that day but she texted first to say do you fancy a cuppa? Emma reads the blog and the first thing she said was how is Phil and wish him all the best from us. Emma brought an Xbox with her Christmas money and has lost 12 pounds in 10 days, how amazing is that? Bloody amazing and I may have to invest in one myself. Good luck to her and lets help I can help Phil to achieve somewhere near the same results, I believe with the new diet and exercise that I can really help him slim down and get well. God what is with me, here I am, after promising not to keep banging on about PC I can't seem to let it alone in and it pops up in every paragraph? Sorry, I promise to do better, really. Positivity is really the way forward.

Okay, still on the lighter side of life, I received a text from mad Betty from Cranfield. It read, and I repeat verbatim “Claire, my best friend, how are you and how is Phil love from Emily”. Now I was tired, very tired and it was late and I thought to myself “who the f**k is Emily” especially when my crap mobile told me it was Betty that had sent the text. Of course, I ignore all things weird and mental but I just had to phone to say HNY and ask why she signed off “luv Emily?” Now Betty, now Emily is seriously weird and I have struggled since ownership of our flat to deal with her but I really can't get my head round this. Anyway to cut to the chase, apparently she had decided after Christmas to create a new identity and a deed poll certificate changers her from 'Betty' into 'Emily'. Wow, can a new name really change your life? Each to their own I guess and who am I to judge.

Still on the subject of Betty from Cranfield,I have had, once again to decline yet another one of her social invitations that she gives to me and Phil god knows how many times each year. This last one on the 22^nd of Jan is to join her 40^th birthday celebrations at Cranfield village hall. Once again I have had to come out with yet another elaborate excuse so not to offend. I feel real bad but the thought of spending a Saturday night in a cold village hall with a soggy finger buffet and a karaoke machine amongst a room full of locals that I have nothing in common with just doesn’t appeal. Forgive me lord but if you don't mind I'll sit this one out; I definitely won't be going to heaven!

I seem to have spent most of the week shopping and cooking. I did get to the gym on Tuesday and Wednesday so that was something. Christine came to stay on Tuesday for a couple of nights; she has taken early retirement, rented her MK house and this week has started the commute between Surrey and MK. It was good to catch up as we hadn't seen each since before Phil & went to Goa. I don't envy her the driving to and fro but she's breaking this up by staying with friends a couple of nights during the week. It won't be for too long though as she finishes her job at the end of March. I felt sorry for her staying on the futon bed in our spare room because the room is tiny and the futon is very hard. I can't believe we made Harriet sleep on it for a whole year and no wonder she complained lol. Well that's my ramblings over for today, I think I've gone on enough. Got loads to achieve today, a visit to the gym first and then I am going to make a start on the end of year accounts. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!